To Bee or not to Bee
A battle of bad jokes…
Keren: What do you call a bee on a calendar?
A: Feng he ri li
Mao Jia: What do you call the husband of a bee?
A: Beef (bi fu)
Quekadoodledoo: What do you call the son of a bee?
A: Nose (bi zi)
Mr Wu (Chinese teacher): What is ‘The Eleventh Book’ in Chinese?
A: Bu ke si yi
EDIT–> Quekadoodledoo has been gripped by a sudden urge to visit Taiwan! Yes, she is a lifeless person who visits tourism sites for fun *^^*
Just to amuse herself, she has added something unique to one of her previous posts. It is quite easy to spot and one does not need a Super Eye to do so.
This shall be a short post!
Quekadoodledoo got lost yesterday on her way to the YDSP holiday treat. HELLO AREN’T DUCKS SUPPOSED TO HAVE INNATE MAGNETIC COMPASSES?! Quekadoodledoo feels very cheated 
Did you know that there are 2 Science Parks in Singapore? Quekadoodledoo did not. DSO is in Science Park I.
So she arrived at Harbourfront vaguely remembering that there was supposed to be a bus to Science Park. Coincidentally, just as she waddled into Harbourfront bus-stop, the very bus she was wondering about pulled up! So she happily joined the queue, not noticing that below the huge words ‘SCIENCE PARK’ on the sign, there was something else written in font size five: ‘II’.
So Quekadoodledoo ended up in Science Park 2 and started panicking. The sight of Quekadoodledoo panicking is not pleasant. It involves lots of feathers. Just then, another bus pulled up with the sign
‘SCIENCE PARK I–For Science Park employees only. Please show your ID.’
Obviously, Quekadoodledoo is not a Science Park employee so she did not get onto the bus. But the bus driver was super nice! He beckoned her in and even asked her where she wanted to go! In her frazzled state, Quekadoodledoo got pretty scared. The bus was empty. What if it was a kidnapping attempt?! But she need not have worried. She got to DSO, albeit at 9.50am.
Miraculously, Quekadoodledoo was not late! Because the YDSP office had written, again in font size five, in the email:
Registration: 9.30-10.00
PHEW!
Lesson learnt from this episode: READ THE SMALL PRINT!
Banana milkshake
It seems that banana money is in excess these days.
Quekadoodledoo’s mummy’s 2 top scorers both got 3 marks more than her for PSLE. That is a very high mark you know! (How shameless Quekadoodledoo is! Indirectly saying that her own PSLE score is high??) And the third in class got the same score as her.
But get this: the difference between the third and forth highest score… is 9 MARKS.
Here’s a little something to lower everyone’s self-esteem…
Top scores for various schools
Qifa 290
Gongshang 287
Nanyang 287
Rosyth(: 287
Raffles Girls 286
South View 286
Greenridge 285
Nan Chiau 282
Hougang 281
Tao Nan 281
Ai Tong 280
Bukit Panjang 280
Catholic High 280
CHIJ St Nicholas 280
Pei Hwa 280
St. Hilda 280
Fengshan 279
Yangzheng 278
Red Swastika 277
Gan Eng Seng 275
Quekadoodledoo really does not know where to hide her face!! One consolation: the possibility that the PSLE top scorer might come to NUSH! Since both Qifa and NUSH are in the West. *crosses fingers*
It looks like MOE has just treated everyone to a banana milkshake!
All right, enough depressing news. Here’s an easy logic problem to cheer everyone up:
There are 2 red hats and 3 blue hats. There are also 3 children who are lined up such that they can only see the hat of the person in front of them. All of them have an IQ of 200.
The person at the back says that he does not know the colour of his hat.
The person in the middle says that he does not know the colour of his hat.
The person in front says that he knows the colour of his hat.
What colour is the hat of the person in front?
–> Update: the PSLE top scorer is going to RGS. Better luck next time!
And really. There should be a Facebook group entitled “When I was your age, the top PSLE score began with 28-”
Speaking of PSLE results, Quekadoodledoo forgot to share a very interesting tidbit. During her History exam, her seat number was her PSLE score. Her final score for the History exam was a factor of her PSLE score!
My Long Overdue Dedis
To my roommate, Jer Lin,
YO FELLOW NORTHEASTERNER!! You are both a gourmet and a gourmand. Compared to you, I am a foodie noobie. (Considering the amount of food I eat, that’s saying something.) You’re also a really nice person to talk to, perhaps because we have similar perspectives on many things- except food! Thanks for keeping me company on all those loong rides back home!(:You have very diverse interests, unlike uncouth old me. I would describe you as a generally sane person with a kooky streak, manifested in all your weird obsessions!! I hope one of those obsessions is not neatness, because neatness is often the first victim of my pragmatism. Please do not be flabbergasted at how untidy I am next year. You have been warned!
To my toiletmate/project partner, Naomi:
My faithful disciple! Have I ever mentioned that I am a GREAT FAN of your hair? It has its own snarky personality! (For one, it does not like people touching it) You are evil and enjoy torturing snails. But, at the same time, you are a kind and squishy person! I think I identify with you quite a lot because we share many unfortunate propensities– carelessness, messiness and stubbornness. But we must work hard toward changing them! Never have I seen anyone so tolerant of my nonsense! (: In fact, you positively exacerbate it–like resonance, eh? You would get along very well with my imaginary cousin! And lastly, jiayou for our project! =D
A sad story
This sad story is about banana money.
Now, as we all know, bananas are brimming with nutrition and can provide a quick energy boost to the fatigued sportsman. However, ‘banana money’ posesses quite the opposite connotation.
During the Japanese Occupation, notes were printed with pictures of banana trees on them. This is what they looked like:
But as the war progressed, the Japanese started churning out more and more banana notes so as to make the citizens appear affluent and financially comfortable. So many of these notes were printed, in fact, that their value plummeted drastically. Stacks or even sacks of them were required to pay for daily goods. Inflation had occured, but the process went unchecked–perhaps because all the economists who might have stepped in were drafted in the war.
Unbeknownst to them, the people had entered a spiral of doom. By the end of the war, the notes had become worthless. The Japanese currency lost whatever credibility it had previously enjoyed. Citizens who went to sleep with a fistful of money woke up to find that their bulging bank accounts were now worth less than the clothes on their shoulders. It took a long time for them to rebuild their lives.
Oh, one cannot help but be moved to tears by their plight. Suffer the little citizens…
The Answer is…
There is a space between ‘fish’ and ‘and’ and ‘and’ and ‘chips’.
Contrary to her expectations of a life of peace and quiet after the NUSHS exams, Quekadoodledoo has been as busy as usual. One remembers the primary school days when ‘post-exam activities’ denoted sitting around in classrooms, playing cards, decorating people’s autograph books, discussing random topics (indeed, this may be where Quekadoodledoo honed her outstanding ability to spout utter nonsense) and outings to Little India, Sentosa, Pulau Ubin and Chinatown.
Well, it looks like her heart rate has not slowed down and she may need a pacemaker soon. A moment of silence for poor Quekadoodledoo please.
Yesterday was Games Day! Quekadoodledoo played enough badminton to make Ronald Susilo uncomfortable. Observations of the badminton game:
1. Quekadoodledoo believes she has grown a muscle in her lower right arm.
2. Jo and Timo seemed to be on a mission to hit each other with the shuttlecock. However, neither suceeded.
3. Seo Youn is very tall.
4. Quekadoodledoo is not very tall.
5. All of Quekadoodledoo’s muscles are now aching, even in places that she thought were all fat!! Is this a good sign? YES!
6. Miss Hanoi is a musclewoman!
7. An ingenious way to distract your opponent is to get Keren to keep score.
Today, NUSHS had the DeepaRaya celebrations! Being the huge cheapskate that she is, Quekadoodledoo was gobbling down muruku at an alarming rate. Oh actually it might not be muruku, but Quekadoodledoo’s Tamil vocabulary is limited, so any fried, yellow Indian snack is termed by her as muruku. The world would be highly efficient if everyone behaved in a similar manner! The above statement is nonsense!
Quekadoodledoo loves to baffle, lo!
(Sir Naryanaryan showed me this in the audi today! ^^)
Today, Quekadoodledoo shall buffalo her readers by writing of buffalos. There’s an article in Wikipedia (underlined in blue) which is rather long, but here is the gist of it:
The sentence below…
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
…is valid! Here’s why. There are 3 possible meanings of the word ‘Buffalo’:
- a. the city of Buffalo, New York (or any other place named), which is used as an adjective in the sentence and is followed by the animal;
- n. the noun buffalo, an animal, in the plural (equivalent to “buffaloes” or “buffalos”), in order to avoid articles;
- v. the verb “buffalo” meaning to bully, confuse, deceive, or intimidate.
Hence, the sentence becomes
Buffaloa buffalon Buffaloa buffalon buffalov buffalov Buffaloa buffalon. “Buffalo”
ie. Buffalos from (the place) Buffalo who are buffaloed by other Buffalos from Buffalo, also happen to buffalo yet other buffalos from Buffalo.
Another one: 马妈妈骑马，马慢嘛，马妈妈吗马吗？
And LD/Mollie will be proud that I can recite this: Anoko wa nakanaka katakana kakenai youna!
Lastly, try to punctuate this!
>>There is a space between fish and and and and and chips.
My dedications are really LOOONG
WAIT! Before Quekadoodledoo starts on her dedis, she shall state that she LOVESLOVESLOVES Pride and Prejudice, especially Mr Darcy!!! *swoonswoon* But she does not really think that Colin Firth looks nice as Mr Darcy in the BBC movie. (Luckily, she did not say this last year during Lit class, or Ms Koh may have given her an even lower grade! The thought is abominable!)
Having established that, here goes! In no particular order:
Mollie: Hello Ms Onigiri^3! I didn’t really talk to you much this sem, but we still managed to conduct our pre- and post- exam rituals! Your wobbling and gyrating put me under as much a spell as ever. Anyway, I’m glad that over the course of this year, I’ve gotten to know you and your friends much better, and they are really nice people. I don’t think you really met Ms Yukio Hatoyama at Jacob Ballas Gardens… but if you did… I am pretty jealous!!! (One wishes for an SMS animation to put here does one not!) Your jokes are really bad, but that is what breeds familiarity and affection. HEH! I hope you remember our pact in Yr 2. Here’s to R.Feynman and not caring what people say!
Famy: AHHH, Famitoshi. Our birthdays always fall on the same day of the week! I think you talk to me quite a lot. Err but I just wish you wouldn’t do so during Chinese class! Your ego is not very small, but neither is it as huge as GM’s *Quekadoodledoo shields herself from indignant blows from said person*. You need more humour in your life and I hope I have provided you with enough of that! You have provided me with quite a lot of it too, because you are rather obsessed with Some Person. Try to be optimistic about the possibility of a good class next year! Rest well, and I hope your YDSP project and everything else goes well.
Para: QUAAACK honk poot *aggressive jabbering and pecking* AND IT’S YOUR ACCENT THAT HAS A PROB, NOT MINE! You have increased my sense of allegiance to the class Aves. How unfortunate (for our potential classmates) that we are probably going to end up in the same class next year! Ve are velly goot at spouting nonsense, are ve not, although 1. Most of it is in Ducklish and 2. Most of it is at the expense of a random poor soul who has done us no wrong. Although sometimes you deserve to be spanghew-ed (look up that word, I find it so funny!), your suanning most probably conceals a warm interior(: Thanks for your help with Mrs S’ camera!
Sir Naryanaryan (Pillay): I think an apology is in order here.
Dear Sir,
You didn’t really think I was critical of your preparation for the Chinese compo, I hope? I meant it jokingly, so please do not be angry with me! If I had really meant it, I would have been much more scathing. But I think that day I had a very deadpan expression on my face which you didn’t really know what to make of, so you took it rather poorly.
Honestly, everyone I know (including me) does that and if there is anything to be ashamed of, it is not your due alone. I was merely being peevish because of my anxiety at my own lack of preparation. Therefore, I hope you will not begrudge me your kindest understanding in saying no more of the matter.
>>I think you are an extremely funny person with an extremely extensive vocabulary, although a large proportion of it has a negative connotation, HEH HEH. But you haven’t provided me with much karma of late! You are REALLY obsessed with certain entities, aren’t you? But you are quite a refreshing friend in that you do not really mince your words except when you are deliberately trying to be diplomatic! And you are forthcoming with your help too (I remember the Mol. G exam. Thanks to you, I only lost a 1/2 mark for that question on chromosomal mutations, and that was for NOT SEEING THE FIRST PART OF THE QUESTION)!
Two more people deserve dedications but I feel that it is time to stop procrastinating on a Very Important Task 
DD so I shall stop here. Naomi and Jer Lin, your turn next!
More dedications
I guess I shall continue with my dedications!
Viet Anh: You were such an awesome SMP partner! If not for your extreme carefulness (a quality that I lack) I doubt I would even have finished the project. And you seem to be a slack person yet you still do well! Pro-la! You’re quite nice to talk to too although you always seems to be fixated on gu– HAHAH NONO JUST KIDDING, THAT WAS CENSORED!!
Anqi: You know, you have a latent talent for comedy. I don’t think you realise it, but you can make very funny faces sometimes!! You always seem to be complaining about Viet Anh even though everyone knows that deep down you two are good friends. Anyway, your Chemistry/Chinese are really pro (unlike mine) so must duo duo zhi jiao okay! Mentor rep, you are also a pillar of sanity.
Seo Youn: HI MISS KOREA!! Wow you’re really dilligent/artsy/sporty and I wish I were more like you! Although you may seem slightly pessimistic at times, I know you have a really cool and wicked streak in you that is often manifested in slighting the last person in our row (to that person: no hard feelings though!). Hoho I think that particular History lesson was the most interesting one I have ever attended–Mrs James must have been wondering whether I was drunk, I was laughing so hard! Anyway, I believe in your inner fashionista!
Quy and Cheryl: I don’t talk much to you people, except when Quy insists on calling my full name as if it’s very funny (question mark…). I think that you two are fun groupmates and are really willing to render your help whenever necessary. Quy, kam en for teaching me so many Vietnamese words! I love teaching you Chinese too. Cheryl, thanks for being a really encouraging and supportive OBS watchmate. You have a very sweet nature, so beware of mosquitoes!
I think my class is pretty unique because it is a microcosm of Singapore’s society, which is also trying to cope with the influx of foreigners. The difference is that we in 405 get along pretty well, and we view cultural differences as a source of interest, not conflict. I remember all the sessions over lunch where we’d teach each other key words in our own languages, amidst hoots of laughter, and get thoroughly confused in the end. But they were fun, and looking back, I’m gonna miss them.
Next up: Mollie, Para, Sir Naryanaryan, Famy
Ducks>dogs
Quekadoodledoo hates dogs. Really.
As she was walking home from the MRT station today, she realised that her neighbourhood is CHOCK FULL of dogs. No matter where she turned, she could not escape the ferocious utterances of the canine monstrosities.
As she was walking home, she dropped in to visit her grandmother, who lives nearby. And to her consternation, she discovered that ALL of her grandmother’s 4 immediate neighbours keep dogs! As a result, she was accosted on all sides by the thundering terrors, who were barking their lungs out in a bid to intimidate her.
Now, Quekadoodledoo simply cannot comprehend the motivations of people who keep dogs. Dogs are smelly and hairy. They lack intuition and cunning. Their knee-jerk response to all visitors, even frequent ones, is to bark frenetically. Their upkeep will burn holes in previously abundant pockets. Big dogs are hulking, ominous beings whose owners are at risk of being engulfed whole. And the small ones are even worse– not only are they easy to trip over, they rip about madly and are frilly sycophants. (Quekadoodledoo has seen some that look like enlarged pom-poms.)
Quekadoodledoo has a suggestion: Why not keep ducks instead? Ducks are adorable and feathery, and do not smell. They are warm and witty. They make innuendoes and allusions instead of fearsome noises. They, uh, lay eggs (do people eat duck eggs?). As they lack the razor-sharp teeth of their canine compatriots, they generally do not inflict (physical) harm on their owners. No self-respecting duck will allow itself to be dressed in ribbons and bow-ties– to the benefit of any owners with such intentions, as they will be spared the withering/quizzical glances of passers-by.
And most importantly, nobody is allergic to ducks.
